All's Faire in Love and War
by Wynni
Summary: Modern Alt Universe: What could possibly happen at a Ren Faire? Three young women are about to find out when they cross paths with the Durinsons of Mountain Thunder Armory. Romance, mischief, and hijinks ensue on the fairgrounds and off.
1. Bremen Town Musicians

**A/N: This current madness could not have happened without the lovely contributions of kkolmakov and RagdollPrincess. Both ladies gave me leave to borrow their lovely creations, and let them romp through this current insanity. So, for those that need confirmation: Thorin as portrayed by RA, Fili as by Dean O'Gorman, Kili as by Aiden, and Frerin as Gerard Butler from Beowulf and Grendel. **

Reese and Wren should have known something was up when Briallen made them both promise they'd have to go to an event of her choice when she agreed to attend Wren's Zumba class. The devilish gleam in her eye passed unremarked, because, well, Bri was almost always up to something, like when she started making up her own lyrics to the latin music. Soon enough, Wren had to give the class a breather just to let her students recover from the laughter.

Now, both girls huddled somewhat timidly in her doorway as Bri flung open the 'garb closet' with a maniacal laugh. "Ooooh, this is soo GREAT!" She carelessly started flinging dresses, skirts, tunics and more onto the bed. "So, what look would you like? I can make you a fairest damsel, or we can go for the rebel hoyden look?"

"Rebel Hoyden?" Despite herself, Wren sounded intrigued. Not to mention the wealth of colors and textures beneath her fingers on the bed stirred her interest.

"You know, the chick that doesn't wear a dress and fights as well as any man." Bri carelessly began throwing leggings, tunics, and an over tunic together. It looked like something Robin Hood would wear.

"Hmmm, ladylike don't do it for me, I want something that says I'm here to party." Reese was idly sorting through the gads of clothes on the bed: velveteen tunics in forest green with gold trim, angel sleeved dresses, kirtles, kilts, and cotehardies all piled together with abandon.

"OOooooh, the Renners are going to LOVE you. One Esmerelda special, coming up!" Bri quickly found an ivory peasant blouse, a leather corset, and a tulip skirt of swirling multicolors, tossing them to Reese. "I'll help tighten the corset, once you get the blouse and skirt on. THEN I get to play in your hair!" The happy little squeal was so shrill, it made both girls wince.

"What sort of barney have we gotten ourselves into?" whispered Wren while Bri was once again half buried in her closet, this time pulling out various footwear: mocassin boots, ballerina shoes, roman looking sandals, and some that defied description.

"I'm almost afraid to ask." Reese whispered back, smiling all the while.

'C'mon you two! We do want to get there before all the mead's gone!" Bri held out a pair of gold looking ballet slippers to Reese.

"Mead?" Bri cocked her head at Wren and Reese. They had answered in stereo.

"Yes! Honest to god, tastes like heaven mead!" Bri handed a pair of fold top boots to Wren. "Hmmm, I may have to help you get these on."

Wren laughed. "You may have to get me a second pair of socks. These look a bit big for me."

"Not my fault you have itsy feets." Bri laughed back, tossing her a thick pair of socks. "Those are the smallest boots I have on hand."

Twenty minutes later, instead of three modern young ladies, living illustrations from fairytales had taken their place. Reese sported a braid crown now, with decorative silk flowers woven throughout. The peasant blouse showed off her lovely shoulders while the leather corset made her girls stand up and stand out. It wasn't only her boobs that seemed to enjoy the benefits of the corset. Her hips seemed to flare more, and her waist even tinier than usual. It rather irked Bri a bit that Reese wore the danged thing better than she ever did.

Then there was the wee redheaded Robin Hoodette. She wanted fishtail braided pigtails, no flowers, please, and sported the green tunic and brown leggings rather well. Once she put her in the foldtop boots, she was perfectly scrumptious.

Bri had been a bit flummoxed, since both her buddies took her usual ideas. But one "heck with it" later, she had a look she was mildly happy with. She was wearing her green leggings, and her tie dyed skirt over it, and over that, she had her purple t tunic with the gold knotwork trim. Her curly hair (with both Reese and Wren's help) was tamed into a pair of french braids with flowers woven in, and the rest loose down her back. She was wearing a pair of the strappy roman looking sandals, and slid her leather pouch into place on the braided sash she was wearing.

"Wow, what do you call that look?" Reese was giving her a rather appraising look. Apparently, the thrown together mishmash looked better than she'd hoped.

"Heck with it" laughed Bri. "Honestly? You two took my usuals, and I had to get creative. I just can't do long skirts at one of these things, so that left out the usual damsel look, and I HAVE to um, protect my legs from rub rash, which makes leggings a must...so there you have it. The mishmash motley of a jester girl." Bri grabbed her walking staff. It was a lovely polished persimmon wood staff with a perfect swirl at the top thanks to some long ago vine. Bri loved it, and no costume was complete without it.

"Let us away to the Faire and Games!" Wren and Reese wondered just exactly what they'd find at the Renaissance Faire Briallen had been cackling about for the last three weeks.

Luckily, they did get there early enough to sample the mead. Wren would only take a spare taste, citing the bane of being a ginger. Bri had no problem offering to help her with what she couldn't drink. Reese was already on her third. The mead really was that good.

"I know the perfect place to stop for lunch! You have GOT to try their scotch eggs. They're better than the ones I make." Bri was bouncing up and down in the cart. Reese and Wren were a little wobbly from the mead, and so they were catching a ride in the plague cart.

"How can they be better than yours? I could eat yours every day and not get tired of them." Wren's cat slanted green eyes regarded Bri in wide wonder.

"Cause this is the guy I got the recipe from?" Briallen playfully bumped Wren's shoulder with her own, regarding a hula hooper in fairy garb out the back of the rolling cart. The stuffed plague victims made a rather comfy mattress.

"Oh my god, yes, we MUST eat there!" Reese was all but rattling Briallen's teeth as she shook her.

"Good lord, woman! If you get this het up over just the idea of 'em. I can't imagine what you'll do when you taste them!" The mock horror on Bri's face set both friends to laughing again.

The faire was an amazing feast for the senses. Purpose built to allow a medieval town to come to life, everything but the visitors looked authentic. Stiltwalkers, vendors, and more swirled by in vivid colors and put on accents. Some even managed the parlance of long ago days. Several times, the girls found themselves drawn into the little dramas the reinactors would put on between shows to drum up audiences.

Bri had insisted Wren take her bow, and so Robin Hood begged her to have a shooting match with him. When she begged off, Bri, being Bri, offered to stand as her champion. It was an interesting match, Robin claiming her a fair shot, but he won in the end. Briallen idly wondered how he would have played it off if she had managed to win.

The girls visited costume shops, cobblers, jewelers, and curiosity shoppes. They saw jugglers, comics, acrobats, and then stopped in at Bri's favorite lunch spot, just in time to catch Ded Bob. His was an interesting ventriloquist act: The man put on a blank black sheet over his face, wore stereotypical medieval garb, and voiced an opinionated skeletal dummy: Ded Bob.

Ded Bob is a standard at most Ren faires. And while he might claim he invented gallows humor, there's little doubt he might very well have perfected it! Reese became part of the act after she couldn't resist sassing back after a zinger he'd aimed at her. He closed the act by begging a kiss off her, pretending to be smitten by her smart aleckness. Bri and Wren were both breathless with laughter by the time he finally sauntered off. Then 'Mountain Thunder' was introduced on the stage, and all three girls were riveted.

Four men, in kilts, and their music ROCKED. They had the usual instruments: chanter, lute, drum, and one she wasn't sure what to call, it almost looked like a cross between a lute and accordion. She saw a mandolin and fiddle on stands behind them.

Bri knew the song 'March of Cambreadth", but daaaamn, hearing it in tenor and bass added a new depth and earnest to it that she found transfixing. It was easy to envision these guys fighting invading hordes to a standstill. Burly boys in kilts tend to have that kind of believability. They weren't hard on the eyes, either. Two were dark haired, one older with piercing blue eyes and strands of silver in his hair, the younger with melting brown eyes and a face too pretty to be believable. The other two were lighter haired. The younger one had the same long features and blue eyes of the older dark haired man, while the other had grass green eyes and a curl to his chestnut locks. Definitely a nice looking quartet. The blackwatch kilts and open throat pirate shirts certainly didn't hurt.

She quickly found herself banging the table and stomping in time to the music. Reese and Wren backed up a bit when she started singing right along with the musicians. Close as they were sitting to the stage (these places didn't leave much room between buildings,) It wasn't long till she'd gotten noticed. The pretty boy nudged the younger blonde, and pointed with his chin at Bri, laughing. Oh heaven help her, but the blondie had to die for dimples. Bri felt her cheeks heating up, but didn't stop singing. Wren and Reese snickering didn't help, either.

With the intro song done, the men took time to introduce themselves.

"Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. We're Mountain Thunder, of Mountain Thunder Armory, just over the hill there and to the right. My name is Thorin Durinson, this is my brother, Frerin, and these two scamps are our nephews Fili and Kili." Oh mercy, the dark haired man, Thorin, had a deep velvety voice that was pure sin. Bri noticed Wren got still next to her, and saw a bright red blush bloom across her cheeks. Briallen didn't blame her, the man was a hunk and a half. In fact, Momma Durinson made FINE boys all around. It should be illegal for that much handsome to be in one family. While Briallen was still mooning over the unfairly handsome men, she utterly failed to notice when one of them was pulling her up from the table. She grabbed Wren's hand purely by reflex. Wren, of course, grabbed Reese. She wasn't going to get humiliated alone!

"What?" Already Briallen's feet were falling into the familiar pattern of the old song.

"Come along, surely you know Tangle Brawl?" Laughed the dark eyed scamp, Kili. He was weaving them in and out of the various benches and posts, gathering more for the Tangle Brawl line as he went.

"Yeah, but why are you starting it way back here?" What she really wanted to know was 'why grab her?' but she didn't really want to open that can of worms right here and right now.

"So we can pull everybody into it?" Well, when he put it that way, it made perfect sense. The three left up on stage were playing a rousing old tune with an easy to keep beat to it. Frerin seemed to be playing the weird instrument, while Thorin handled the lute. Fili had the fiddle fairly singing in his hands.

"Tangle Brawl, Bri?" Wren hissed at Briallen. Precisely what had that madcap dragged her into this time?

"Two big steps forward, two little steps back. Listen to the rhythm of the music, just follow the leader, and DON'T LET GO!" Briallen laughed back at her, already caught up in the gaiety of the music.

Briallen was laughing, Reese was cursing good naturedly under her breath, and Wren, well, she was throwing glances and smiles at the stage like the belle of the ball. Bri noticed both of the older men seemed to be following Wren with their eyes. She's pretty sure she caught the curly haired Frerin winking at Wren a time or two.

Kili had managed to tie the entire audience into one giant gordian knot. People were laughing, cajoling, and in some cases cursing like Reese. Finally the blasted song wound to a close, and everyone clapped enthusiastically as they made their way back to their seats.

Bri wasn't going to think about Fili, and those cerulean eyes that seemed pinned on her the entire dance. She was pleasantly winded when she retook her seat under the arbor with Wren and Reese. "Wow, wonder what these guys are gonna do next?" What they did, was blow everyone's proverbial socks off.

They played Sovngard song, one of Bri's favorites from Miracle of Sound, but it NEVER sounded this raw, real, and manly. Dear god, it was like listening to pure unadulterated sex. Bri started shifting in her seat. Bri was relieved to see she wasn't the only one affected by the song. Both Wren and Reese looked positively entranced.

They then broke into a medieval song she'd heard once before, but couldn't understand the lyrics. She could occasionally catch 'wolf, raven, and hare'...or words that kinda sounded like them. Once again she found herself thumping and banging along to the music. She noticed both of her bosom buddies were thumping and banging right along with her.

Briallen was now laughing herself silly. They were singing "Nord Mead" and Fili, bless him, was tossing bottles that looked exactly like the mead bottles from the Skyrim game. She howled until she cried. Both Wren and Reese were looking at her like she'd lost her mind. Briallen helplessly waved her hands at them finally gasping out "I'll show you when we get home. Promise. But I WANT one of those mead bottles." When, of course, a mead bottle landed in her lap. Once she was able to wipe enough tears away she saw Fili wink at her, those darlin' dimples flashing beside that too knowing smile. Her face flushed with more than mirth at that point.

"Thanks for being a wonderful audience. That's all from Mountain Thunder! Be sure to stop by the Armory for all your sharp pointy needs, and maybe a few shinies. Weapon demos are every two hours, and the forge is always open. Thank you, and enjoy the Faire!" Dang, were all the men blessed with sinfully sumptuous voices? Wren looked ready to swoon at Frerin's voice, and Briallen wasn't too far behind her. Reese was toying with a bit of ribbon Briallen hadn't noticed before, and she was smiling to herself.

"So, lemme guess, we're going to go check out Mountain Thunder Armory , aren't we?" Briallen knew the answer before she even asked, but couldn't help teasing her friends a bit. She carefully tucked her precious mead bottle in her pouch.

"Yes!" Once again, Wren and Reese managed a stereo answer.


	2. The Bold Prince

**A/N: I enjoy my status as a nerd/geek, and so does Bri. Internet hugs and brownies to whomever can name where all the items in her collection came from. ;)**

**Be sure you check out kkolmakov's and RagdollPrincess' pages for the companion pieces!**

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><p>Following the directions, the girls meandered over the hill, and sure enough, a large tent with a wooden plaque announced they'd found Mountain Thunder Armory, complete with burly boys in kilts. Thorin had his back to them, as he was stoking the forge fires. He'd swapped a rougher tunic and leather apron for his fancy pirate shirt to protect it from stray embers. Through an open flap in the back of the tent, they could see two bare chested nephews sparring with ratan practice blades. Stands and tables inside the tent were filled with more martial weapons than Briallen had names for.<p>

"Now there's a lass after me own heart." Bri startled to hear the teasing voice so close. There was the curly haired Frerin, standing over Wren's shoulder as she eyed a matched set of daggers displayed on a swatch of blackwatch tartan.

"Am I now?" Bri's ears perked up as she listened to Wren's purred answer. She was flirting! There she stood, faint smile on her lips and staring at him through her lashes. Bri propped her jaw with her hand, to keep it from hitting the floor. Dang but the girl worked fast.

"Most lasses that come in here don't make it past the pretty gewgaws on the front tables, but you three walked right past them for the sharp and pointies over here." He gave an exaggerated bow to Wren, offering her a vibrant purple wildflower and whispered words, then sauntered outside to check the nephews hadn't killed each other. Bri could hear him yelling something, but couldn't make out what. Reese was already out there, propped on a rail watching the sparring. Seeing nothing that caught her fancy inside, Bri decided to follow Reese.

Bri was very glad she followed Reese. Watching Fili and Kili spar was breath taking. Their moves were graceful and fluid, as if the two were dancing. They dipped, dodged, parried and swung in dizzying displays of acrobatic prowess. Sweat glistened on their skin and scattered chest hair, sparkling like dewdrops. Briallen noticed with a tiny thrill that Fili sported a blonde fun trail that just dared her to imagine where it lead.

She shook her head clear of such naughty daydreams as he ducked a rather spirited swing by Kili, and rolled right under his feet. A move that was sure to trip a less agile fighter, Kili simply hopped over his rolling brother, and turned to meet his blade as Fili popped up sprightly as a jack in the box. "Nice try Fee, but you'll have to do better than that!"

"Whyever should I, when you're not?" The jaunty taunt earned Fili a more spirited swipe from Kili, but the mocking smile and dashing dimples never wavered as he met swing for swing and eventually scored on his dark haired brother.

"Dumb luck!"

"Fancy, you said that last round, too." Fili laughed, clapping his brother on the shoulder . "We'll simply see how the next round goes, won't we?"

Bri, apparently, picked the perfect spot at the railing for the practice ground, because those beautiful dimples were headed right her way.

'Well, hello. To what do I owe such lovely company?" Sakes alive, the boy was gorgeous, did he have to be a charmer, too? He wiped down with a moist towel, and then threw the white pirate shirt back on. Bri had a hard time restraining a whimper at watching that luscious torso go under the white broadcloath.

"Sheer luck, I'm afraid. This is where I rather got spellbound by the bladework out there. It looked like an art piece."

Fili found a rather colorful bruise coming up on the outside of his bicep while putting his shirt back on. "Well, we certainly suffer for it, so it must be art." He winced, then looked at Bri expectantly.

"Oh! Ahem, Briallen Davis. How do?" Bri offered him her hand, and a sunny smile like Heaven's own benediction broke across Fili's face .

"Fili Durinson, but you knew already." Dimples winking, Fili dropped a light kiss on the back of her hand, prompting Bri to drop a quick curtsey.

"Yes, my mead bottle will have pride of place on my shelves with my Horadric cube, light saber, Sword of Truth, Sting, and Horn of Valor." Fili was laughing before she could finish half her recitation.

"Oh, that's quite the collection!"

"Thank you." Bri was amazed the conversation had gone this long without her tripping over her own words. She usually wasn't this comfortable talking with handsome guys. It wasn't like she got a lot of practice. Handsome guys usually found prettier girls with which to spend their time.

"So, Fili Durinson, was your family that big into Tolkien, or is there a story there?"

"Augh, Tolkien! I'd rather you tell me about this costume. It's rather particular."

"Is that the polite way to say 'oddball even for a ren faire?' You tell me the Tolkien connection, and I'll tell you the totally uninteresting story of my costume"

"Fair trade, then." Fili leaned comfortably back against the wooden railing. "You are aware Tolkien took many of his names from various cultures and legends?"

"Well, I am now."

"Well, just our luck,we were born into an old hidebound Scottish clan who wouldn't change centuries old traditions just because some writer used their favored names in a series of books that became famous."

"No way!"

"Point of fact, I think the old traditions were just an excuse Mom used to tweak everyone's nose. Now, this lovely costume you're wearing?" From the appreciation in his eyes, he apparently found something much to his satisfaction.

"My two best friends used my usual ideas, so that kinda left me scrambling. I tossed this together and called it a jester's motley." She smiled rather wistfullly at him. "See? Not interesting at all."

Fili felt his breath catch. The wistful smile, the sad brown eyes. It was as if the girl had no idea how lovely she was. A rebellious curl, the color of wild honey, had escaped her braids, and he tucked it back behind her ear for her, regarding the upturned face and half closed eyes. She wasn't a conventional beauty, not by today's standard. She had large brown eyes, wide mouth, and a straight nose. She rather reminded him of his mother's cameo she used to wear all the time.

"I find you very interesting." And wasn't that the understatement of the year? He found himself wanting to tuck her under his arm...she was such a little thing, and curvey. It was all he could do to stay on the stage while watching her dance with his brother.

"Mmmhmm. Well, same here, sugarlump." Bri was slightly uncomfortable, but was trying hard to play it cool. Just having him tuck her hair back had her nerves humming like a beehive. She hoped she was faring better at being calm and collected than she felt she was. Here was a dreamboat sounding entirely too sincere for her own good. She wasn't a complete stranger to the dating scene. She even knew she appealed to a certain taste, but hit on by a heartthrob? That was new territory.

Just as the silence was starting to get too awkward, there was a very loud 'kerchunk' making Briallen jump. Fili's head jerked toward the sound, and a dashing grin bloomed on his face, winking those dastardly dimples at her. "Seems Dwalin's started the live weapons demo. Care to come see?" If possible, his grin got wider as she laughed aloud.

"There really is a Dwalin?"

"Worse, he's got an older brother named Balin." He revelled in her light laughter all the way to where Dwalin had the live weapons demo set up. He was decimating an old oil drum with a claymore.

The first thing to catch Briallen's attention was exactly how big Dwalin was. To her, he seemed a gigantic, shaggy, movable mountain. The second was how strong the man must be, because he'd pierced the oil drum one handed with a claymore. Briallen decided then and there Dwalin's ire was something she never wanted to incur. Fierce eyes and hawksbeak nose did nothing to alleviate that impression.

"Mountain Thunder Armory prides itself on fully functional and durable weaponry. All our weapons have full metal tang that extends the entire length of the hilt. You won't find any nancy wall hangers here!" As if to prove his point, he stabbed the claymore completely through the empty oil drum in front of him again, showing the half inch thick metal of the drum. Once he pulled it out, he showed the crowd it didn't have even a single notch on the blade. He then dropped the point to the ground, and bounced the blade with his foot, demonstrating its flexibility.

"We have a pot going, for the first person that manages to break one of our blades during fair use. It hasn't been collected in twenty five years." People crowded around him, admiring the different blades he had out on a rack. One of them was a broadsword without the customary grip, showing that it did, in fact, have a full tang the length of the hilt.

Once the people were distracted by the different displays, some showing different stages of creation, Dwalin's attention turned to Fili.

"And just what mischief are you brewing?" Briallen had to hide a smile. He certainly seemed to have Fili's number.

"Who said I was up to any mischief?" Nothing like family to revert one back to childhood. Good lord, he was even pouting now, though his eyes still crinkled with merriment. Apparently, this was an old familiar and comfortable argument between the two.

"Are ye breathing?"

"Yes."

"Then you're up to mischief." Dwalin cracked a smile as Briallen could no longer hold her laughter back. Now that Fili had been put properly in his place, Dwalin turned his attention to the young lady. His bushy eyebrows rose as he took her in. Briallen wondered if that was a good thing, or bad.

"Now, who's this wee lassie, and why is she wasting time on your worthless hide?"

"Oh! Dwalin MacFundin, this is the lovely Briallen Davis. Briallen, this horrid nightmare is my cousin, Dwalin."

"Nevermind him, lass. He's just mad I can beat his arse like the green youth he is." Briallen was doubly surprised when the gruff mountain kissed the back of her hand with all the grace of a proper gentleman. It must have showed, because Dwalin slapped his knee as he gave a belly deep laugh. "I like her lad, if she's daft enough to stay, keep her." He then glanced over at the empty practice yard. A frown darkening his face. "Have Frerin and Thorin started their sparring yet?"

"I think they're about ready. Balin's back from his break."

"I'll be along soon's I run this bunch off and put the merch up. I saw a wee ginger, and you know those two and gingers. I wouldn't put it past the muckleheads to injure themselves showing off."

"Oh, mercy, don't let Wren hear that. She'd be torn between horror and ego trip." Briallen had sidled a little closer to Fili after Dwalin's appraisal. She still wasn't sure what to think of it.

"I'd choose horror, lass. I wouldn't wish either of those two on my worst enemy!" Dwalin thumped Fili's shoulder as his laughter rolled free and easy at his own joke. Fili's eyes rolled to Briallen, as if to say 'Family, what can you do?"


	3. The Gingham Dog and Calico Cat

**A/N: KK and I decided to have a little fun with the chapter names. She's using nursery rhymes, and I'm using fairy tale and fables. Did you know there's only one fairy tale involving multiple musicians? Though, we must admit, our Mountain Thunder sounds much better than donkey brays or cock crows. ;) If you've not read 'The Gingham Dog and Calico Cat' I entreat you should. I think it gets the crux of this chapter nicely. Hope you enjoy reading this as much as kk and I did writing it.**

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><p>Bri and Fili headed towards the practice yard as soon as they saw the crowds thickening, and hustled quickly upon hearing both Thorin and Wren's raised voices. Wren was perched like her namesake on the fence, and both Frerin and Thorin were facing off on the practice green. Thorin's voice floated over his shoulder at Wren.<p>

"... How about it, lass? A kiss for the victor?" He didn't just…..

"Sure, just no slacking," Wren narrowed her eyes at Fili's dark haired uncle, "At least make it look real!" She didn't just…

"As my lady wishes," Thorin's salute had all the severity of a gladiator in the Coliseum. Bri saw a nightmare of unholy proportions unfolding before her very eyes. Two ginger crazy brothers were about to beat all hell out of each other over a kiss. A stray thought wondered if she remembered enough first aid to matter as her brain began to gibber in panic.

Fili's question confirmed it. "Lass, tell me you didn't just say that to my uncles?" Briallen was clinging to his arm with a deathgrip, and still she needed the support of the fence to stay upright. Since when did she become comfortable enough with Fili to cling? Eh, she'd worry about that when she wasn't worried she was about to see one brother murder the other over her best friend. She watched the two brothers out on the green, circling each other like rogue lions fighting over a pride.

"Huh?" REALLY Wren? You just incited two men to lethal force, and you go dumb bunny on me? Bri wondered if the post was sturdy enough to bang her own brains out.

"Oh lordy, Wren, what have you done?" Bri felt all the blood drain from her face as she took in the deadly purpose writ large in every line of the two men circling on the field of battle.

"What? I mean it's just a show, right?" Bri now wondered if it wouldn't be considered justifiable homicide at this point. Maybe the post was at least sturdy enough to bang sense into her best friend. Honest officer, I was just trying to help…..

'Well, let me put it this way. This," Fili showed her the bruise from earlier that day. It had already taken on horrifying hues of black and deep purple and now covered almost the entirety of his upper arm. Bri took some joy in watching Wren's face green at the sight. "This can happen on a good day. You just gave them good reason to swing for the fences."

"That's a real fight out there, Wren. It's not a scripted fight!" Bri wrung her hands, because it's still illegal to wring your best friend since childhood's neck, no matter how stupid they get. She kept looking back, hoping Dwalin would appear. He was quite probably the only person big and scary enough to make the two nitwits on the field stop. "Now would be an excellent time for Dwalin to show up."

And about that time, the two ninnies on the field clashed together with a sound like a gunshot from wooden blade meeting wooden blade. Bri shuddered to think if one had actually contacted. That would have been a trip to the hospital right there, she was sure of it. Bri found herself jumping everytime the blades cracked. Always that gunshot sound from the sheer strength of the blows, and never did that relentless energy they went at each other let up. It was shredding her nerves to pieces. Where the bleeding blue blazes was Dwalin? Didn't he hear this mess?

After Frerin made an all or nothing plunge, which Thorin neatly swirled out of the way, the two turkeys started trading barbs. Well, maybe the two would survive this nonsense after all. If they can stop long enough to jibe each other, maybe they weren't still mad enough to break each other's bones….maybe. She still hoped Dwalin stomped sense (or a mudhole, she wasn't picky) into both of them. That wasn't fun, it was scary as all HELL.

Sure enough, her new hero finally showed up, fit to be tied, and roaring insults at the top of his impressive lungs. The two monkeys barely noticed. In fact, Frerin made one last ditch effort to topple his big brother.

It didn't work out so well for him. He wound up with mud on his face…..literally. And at Wren's feet. Also literally.

It's crystal clear Wren was torn between the two brothers. She couldn't tell which one she wanted to snog worse, possibly both at the same time. It's just one thing too much for Bri's nerves, and she started snorting and laughing near hysterically into Fili's arm. He may not be getting it back anytime soon. Way too comfortable.

"Bri?... A bit of help would really be nice right now," hissed the brother confused Wren. Awww, poor Wren. A bit uncomfy now? Bri cut her laughing eyes at her best friend, who was firmly hoisted on her own petard, while Bri kept her face firmly buried in the arm of her own Durinson. Apparently, her laughter was contagious, because the most adorable sounds were now rumbling in the darlin' chest next to her. He may not be getting that back either. In fact, maybe she could keep the whole package. Jeebus! What IS it with these guys?

"What would you have me do, Wren? I cain't pick for you!" Enjoy, enjoy sister of my heart, the lovely bed you've made yourself. Bri might be enjoying her besty's discomfort a bit too much, but then, Wren's nonsense just scared twenty years of her life off, and now she was caught in the mess her own flirting caused.

"I am not talking about choosing, I am talking about being forced into a snog..." Forced my hind leg. Bri knew better. She knew Wren wanted that snog as much as Dark n Dangerous did.

Wren's lovely tirade was cut woefully short by the politest cough Bri'd ever heard. Wren went stock still, as if turned to stone stock still. There's Thorin behind her, looking every bit the conquering hero. Bri still wanted to watch Dwalin take a chunk out of his uppity hide. Half this fiasco's his fault.

"The show must go on," whispered Bri, deciding the train wreck wasn't quite done with everyone yet. Thorin toted Wren to the middle of the practice green like she weighed no more than milkweed fluff. Sure enough, she watched Wren kiss Thorin like a desert survivor at an oasis (and where did the Wren who hated public displays of affection go?), then run like a scared jackrabbit with hounds on her heels...right into the second half of the trainwreck...namely the mudspattered brother standing right where she'd left him.

Fili, bless him or curse him, Bri wasn't sure which, offered poor wide eyed Wren his towel from earlier. Wren tried to give it to Frerin, but that muckity muck just stood there, while she was left to try and swab him off. Honestly? That boy wasn't coming clean unless they dunked him in a river, and then it was only a maybe, though Wren gave it a very exuberant try. Frerin sure weren't complainin'.

Then the idjit said something, and Wren threw the towel at him, and stormed into the tent head high and thoroughly ticked off. Frerin and Thorin were left to Dwalin's tender mercies. He bullied them all the way back towards the trees.

A rattling thought finally made it to the top of Bri's conscious. Tugging on Fili's arm, she asked him an important question. "What IS it with you Durinsons?"

"Care to find out?" Her own rapscallion had the temerity to wiggle his eyebrows at her. Her head thumped back down on his arm as she groaned. His subsequent hug felt entirely too natural. "C'mon, I hear the the Honey Tree Tavern has restocked its mead. I'm buying. " She hopped down, still holding his arm, and let him escort her.

"No, I need to check on Wren first, then mead." Honey Tree mead was not to be denied. Another thought occurred to her as they made their slow way to the Armory tent. She could hear Dwalin blistering both brothers verbally off in a copse of trees not far away. They were probably down by the little creek where Frerin could demudify himself. "Won't the armory need you?"

"Hardly, I have a feeling the uncles are going to be watching the store the rest of the day, and there'll be no more demos till the weapons are replaced."

They found Wren having tea and biscuits with a distinguished gentleman that could only be Balin. Bri figured he had to be simply because she'd met everyone else. He was a stately gentleman, and she couldn't imagine either of the combative brothers giving him grief.

"Hey, are you going to be alright now?" Now that Bri's nerves had settled, she was honestly worried about Wren.

"I should be. It doesn't look like Mr. MacFundin is going to surprise me with some mental behaviour," Wren whispered theatrically, causing Balin to chuckle, "We are going for a wee donner now."

Bri giggled in relief, and gave her a warm hug. She certainly sounded better. "Well, Fili has offered to escort me about and has promised Honey Tree mead. Think you might join us there after a while?"

"How about you two enjoy the mead, since I'm such a cack-handed human who conks out after a sip, and I'll join you just before the do? There is a knees up later, right?" Wren's eyes sparkled at the idea of dancing, costumes, and the general fun of a masquerade.

"Yeah! I didn't pack three fancy dresses for nothin, lovebug! One a'them's got your name on it! " Yep, Wren was back in fine fettle if she was thinking party. Which, in turn, relieved Bri and restored her world to rights.

"Sure, but if I see something I like I'll text you a picture so you tell me if it fits the set up." Bri had to chuckle, that was so Wren. Still, she couldn't blame her. The Ren faire had amazing garb and costumes to offer.

"Well yeah, that's the nature of the beast, ain't it? But sure as you counted on it, you'd never find anything that'd suit. I'll keep my phone handy. Alright?" Bri fully expected to get no less than half a dozen texts as Wren found costume after costume that one upped each other.

"Have fun!" Now just what presactly was Wren insinuating with that little sing song tune she just did? She almost expected her to start spelling out kissing. Sheesh.

"Aighty, love you, and, Mr. Balin, sir, I'm dependin' on you to take care a' my sis, got it?" Bri faced them both, hands on hips and foot tapping. Looking for all the world like a long suffering big sister. Wren actually had her by a year.

"I'll treasure her like me own granddaughter." Balin chuckled good naturedly, reassuring Bri more with his calm and collected demeanor than anything else.

"Thank ye! Bye y'all!" Bri, feeling her world restored to rights, practically floated out the door on Fili's arm.

"Why are the weapons being replaced?" Bri rarely if ever forgot something that had been talked about, but good luck guessing when she'd get back around to it. She'd managed to blind side more than one friend with her 180's in conversations. They'd just gotten clear of the tent when she returned to their previous topic of the discarded wooden swords.

"Once they're used that badly, they can't be trusted. They could break the very next time they're swung, and both uncles knew better. After Dwalin takes it out of their hide, he'll probably take the cost out of their share. Only fair considering it was their stupidity in the first place." They walked easily together. Just as he'd thought, she fit nicely under his arm, and he relished the feeling of having her there. They passed several vendor carts on their way to the tavern: one selling fairy wings, another crystals and jewellry, another sold handmade puppets of fantastical creatures, and yet another carried detailed costume pieces. They stopped and looked, relishing the time together as well as the artistry of the pieces.

"So, would you attend tonight's revel with me?" Fili was looking at a rather gorgeous full faced lion mask, complete with mane. It made Bri giggle to think it'd be hard to tell the difference between it and Fili's own thick locks.

"Wow, you work quick, don't you?" Bri was stalling for time. She'd really enjoyed their time together, when she hadn't been clinging to his arm in heart stuttering fear (okay, maybe she enjoyed the clinging part, but certainly not the stuttering fear part). Still, it was a bit quick and a bit much; she'd just met him!

"Emmmm" Bri, chatterbox extraordinaire, was at a loss for words.

"Say yes, it'd make a great first date story." Oooh Fili, Fili, your merry blue eyes could stop traffic. How dare you use that magic on me, Bri thought. They were certainly hard to say 'no' to.

"You mean watching your uncles try to kill each other hasn't already done that?" It was a weak attempt to forestall answering, and they both knew it.

"Hmm, speaking of which, you may want to say 'yes' fast. We're still not entirely sure we won't be asked to leave over that little drama." The morose expression wasn't put upon. He really was upset at the prospect. Yeah, Bri, that wasn't your resolve melting in a puddle under the brunt of the sad puppy face.

"What?" That was not panic setting in. It wasn't. The purple feathered owl mask dropped back on the cart from nerveless fingers.

"Oh, it's a worst case scenario. I'm sure Balin wouldn't allow it to go that far. He'll probably say it was just a bit of scripted drama, and may have to promise the uncles won't fight anymore, but it's a possibility." Fili waved the merchant over, buying the lion mask. While Bri watched a pair of giggling fairies with bubble wands, he purchased the purple owl, too.

Bri's phone deedle deeted at her. She was soon looking at the prettiest oak fairy costume she'd ever seen. Wren had found her costume, and it was a doozy. Bri felt giggles bubbling, remembering the massive oak and shield tattoo Thorin sported. She wondered if Wren hadn't actually made her choice. Here she was dressing up as an oak fairy for an oak shield. "Fili, can we backtrack to that fairy wing vendor? I saw some wings I need to pick up for Wren….and yes, I'd be thrilled to go with you to the masque." There was a pronounced bounce to Fili's step as he graciously escorted Bri to the wing vendor.


	4. The Dancing Princess

"Wait wait wait….you mean to tell me Thorin, haven't-heard-him-say ten words, scarily intense Mr. Macbroody Thorin, plays harp? HARP?" Bri folded over on the wooden bench, helpless with giggles. Fili was sure it was past time to cut off her mead supply.

"If it has strings he can play it, but harp was his first." Fili's eyes twinkled merrily at the giggling girl. "In fact, most of us can play multiple instruments. Makes it easier to keep the performance going if one of us is out sick. Kili can play most wind instruments, as well as the fiddle. Frerin can play just about anything he picks up, and I can play chanter, fiddle, mandolin, and lute. Oh yes, and all of us can play the drum."

"What is that weird instrument, the one that looks like the love child of an accordion and fiddle?" Bri pushed herself back up, leaning heavily on the table for support.

It was Fili's turn to fall over laughing. 'Do you mean the hurdy gurdy?"

"It's called a hurdy gurdy? Mercy, it sounds like something naughty you do at a brothel." Briallen was once again helpless with laughter laid out in her booth. The laughter finally petered out as she gazed rather hazily up at Fili, an utterly unfamiliar serious expression sliding into place.

"I really wished I knew what was up with you. I just don't get this comfortable this fast with a guy."

Before Fili could answer her, a familiar shout had her turning to a figure nearly as round as he was tall. Which was saying something, since the man was six and a half feet, give or take a mile. "Briallen! You're here! Wondered when you'd meander in. Band's been hoping you'd do a number with them. " He had dark curly hair, slightly salt and pepper, a broad face with a prominent nose, and a mouth that seemed to know nothing but smiles peeping out of a truly impressive great curly black beard. Copious smile crinkles at the corners of bright black eyes seem to bear this assessment out.

Burly arms grabbed the still reclining Briallen in a very familiar and bonecrushing bearhug. "Beorn! Beorn! Bri can't breathe!"

He finally sat her back on her feet, and turned to assess the half risen Fili, who still wasn't sure what to make of the man that had just grabbed Briallen. "Beorn Sanders, meet my date, Fili Durinson. Fili, this is my grand old friend, Beorn Sanders." Bri's easy camaraderie was plain to see with the bear of a man, so Fili offered his hand politely.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir." Fili wasn't a small man by any means, but Beorn's hand engulfed his. It was a highly unusual sensation for Fili, quite humbling.

"Aye, I've been keeping something of an eye on our Bri since she first found her way to the faire some years ago. Good thing, too. It's amazing the trouble she can find without looking." Bone deep fondness for the girl softened his rough features, prompting a blush on Briallen's cheeks.

"I don't look for trouble. I think it looks for me!" A pretend pout was put to the lie by her crinkled, laughing eyes.

"All the more reason someone should keep an eye on you." The assessing look Fili was subjected to left no doubt Beorn felt the jury was out on whether Fili was some of that trouble or not.

"So, Bri, how many have you had?" Beorn studied Briallen carefully, trying to determined just how drunk she was..

"Three, I think?" Her tone was less than reassuring, which worried Beorn.

"Do the test then. I know you." Her indignant huff impressed Beorn not at all, as he simply folded his arms and waited.

"Fiiiiiiiine." Bri proceeded to tap her nose with each finger, did a little jig, and then ended with a cartwheel that placed her neatly again in front of Beorn. Fili would never have believed it, if he hadn't seen it.

"Alright, then. I suppose you can go talk to the Band. But try to keep it simple this time, will ye?"

"I'm to silly; I makes no promises." Bri bounded off to talk to the band. Beorn watched her go, chucklin' to himself and shaking his head at her. Then that great wooly head turned to soberly regard Fili. It felt rather similar to that one time he was a few minutes late getting his date home during high school. Would he really look a coward if he hid under the table?

"Durinson," mumbled Beorn. "You're with that Mountain Thunder Armory that moved in this season?" When Fili nodded, a steely look settled over Beorn's countenance. "So, how long have you known our Bri?"

Yep, the inquisition had begun. Then, like an angel from heaven, Fili's salvation arrived in the form of Bri's performance. Instead of keeping his gimlet stare and foreboding attention on Fili, Beorn turned to watch Bri, who was singing from the railing surrounding the rather large and rather live tree in the middle of the tavern. However, she didn't stand still for long. Bri was soon dancing and jigging on the bloody two by four railing all around the tree, playing up to the crowd as she sang some fast song in what sounded like welsh. He would have never guessed she was even slightly intoxicated. Her huge smile and flashing legs were truly a sight to behold, and Fili didn't much care for some of the looks she was garnering.

Bri bowed to the crowd when it was over. They immediately requested she sing another. The band started to play one he knew well, 'Drunken Sailor". On the third chorus of 'Weigh, Hey, and Up she rises' Bri turned too quickly and was plummeting. Fili dove for her, catching her up and clutching her tightly to his chest.

"Jesus, Bri! You scared the life out of me!"

"Weren't too good for my nerves, either." Bri heaved a heavy enough sigh he felt her ribcage push against his. 'Can we go outside to catch some air?"

"Yes."

"Can you put me down now?"

"No."

"Fili?" There was Beorn, looking strangely hesitant.

"Yes, Mr. Sanders?" Fili stood tall with Briallen held tight to his chest. For someone that claimed to look out for Bri, encouraging her to dance and sing while intoxicated bespoke a staggering lack of good sense.

"Ye done good, son. Next time you're here, mead's on the house."

"Thank you." Fili answered as cordially as he could with Bri breathing on his neck. He was thankful her skirt was full enough to cover his increasing discomfort. He gave a respectable nod to Beorn, and carried Bri out to a bench under a large shade tree that looked to be the big brother to the one Briallen danced around.

By the time he got her settled comfortably on the bench, her phone had signaled her she had a text. It was all sorts of amusing watching her scrunch her face in consternation trying to answer it. He was pretty sure he was wearing a rather sappy expression at her puckered lips and lowered brows. He mentally shook himself and hunted her some water.

"Anything important, love?" He sat himself down next to her and rubbed her back. She purred and bowed into the caress. Fili could only shake his head. Leave it to him to find the one actual catgirl in existence.

"Wren and Balin are headed this way. I think. Why is it alcohol always seems to hit me harder once I actually DO something? Oooowie. Thanks for the water, by the way." Bri then tried to swallow the entire twenty ounce bottle in one swig. She got three quarters of the way. He was impressed.

That was the scene that met Balin and Wren as they came upon them: Bri chugging the bottle of water, and Fili rubbing her back. Wren would be smirking for a solid week over this.

"Dancing or shooting peeps?" Wren was entirely too smug for Bri's comfort. This from a woman torn between two brothers, and having to hide behind Balin's snowy white beard?

"Dancing. I was impressed," Fili was only still living at this point because he was making her back feel like heaven, and his chuckles made her knees weak.

"A shower would be nice," Bri mumbled, anything to get them to hush. It also didn't hurt that Wren was once again wearing a very deer in the headlights look. Bri wondered why that was.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Don't forget, ****kkolmakov 's** **page for the companion piece "Faire and Square"**

**I personally think hers is much more interesting ;)**

**All songs mentioned are real songs you can look up on youtube. The 'fast welsh song' is easily searched under "Felyon" and is a lively rendition of "Dac'w Nghariad" **

**Also, anyone familiar with A. A. Milne's work is laughing at the last name Beorn is sporting. It's another very famous bear we all know and love.**


	5. Seven Troubles, One Answer

Bri, squeezed in the backseat with Fili (not complainin'!), laughed her tail off all the way to the Durinson apartment. The moment Balin announced "That settles it, then! We'll off to the flat." She understood the poleaxed look on Wren's face. Nothing like facing adversaries on their own territory to get religion quick.

The apartments were right by the fairground, but even so, that's a bit far for walkin. They all crowded in Balin's car. Thank heavens Reese opted out. She'd apparently found some friends and an RV camper. Bri could only hope Reese knew what she was doing. Most Faire goers were absolute gems, but every so often there were bad elements in the mix. It was one reason she always carried live steel. Bri would have felt better if she could have at least met them first.

And before Bri could get a good worry going, they were there. They all crowded in, and Bri was bounced off Wren's back and quickly spun into Fili's shirt. Now, don't get her wrong, she loved cuddling, and Fili's scent really did things for her, but she still couldn't breathe cotton. "Fili, why is my face full of your shirt?"

"Put some claes on, gom!" Fili was right royally peeved. She would not think about how giddy that particular rumbly roar bouncing in his chest was doing wonders for her. She frantically tried to put a little breathing room between them before she climbed him like a tree.

"Are you visiting?" Ah, there it was, Frerin. If there was going to be inappropriateness, how did she know it'd involve the younger uncle? She fully believed if Frerin was dropped head first into a redneck convention, nobody'd notice the difference.

Fili reiterated with more colorful terms, such as 'pesh' and 'bampot' that Frerin should really get dressed.

"Yes, and I hope there's some hot water left." And once again, Wren let her libido do the talkin'. Bri could well imagine the mope fest she'd be party too later that evening.

"Oh! You went to the Wicked Weaves!" She could hear the pitter patter of bare feet, and there was no way on God's green earth she'd be held hostage while stalked by naked uncles! She finally broke free...to see too much Frerin in too little towel inspecting Wren's bags like a kid at the Christmas tree. Dang, he was a sight to see; she'd give him that much.

Seriously? How old was this guy?

"Frerin, you pesh, where is my bleeding towel?" And the other shoe dropped. There's Dark 'n' Dangerous, staring at his brother manhandling Wren's bags. Fili was fit to be tied, Wren looked ready to be swallowed by the earth, and Bri just waited for Kingdom Come, all the players were in place. Thank God for Balin.

"I think we all need a cuppa and some pieces, and then our guests can kip down a wee bit before the revel." Thank you, voice of sense and reason.

Watching Wren try to hide behind her during tea had to be the most hilarious thing ever. She'd hid in the corner, pulling Bri in after her, and more than once Bri had to hide a snicker at the Uncles making fools of themselves over her. Fili's high humor wasn't helping none. More than once, catching those bright blues and darlin' dimples had her snickering into her tea.

She guessed it were only fair that the tables finally turned on her. There was only so much the Universe could dump on Wren before it was time to move on to other prey. If she were honest, she even kinda maybe a little (alright a lot) brought it on herself. Still, she was left cheeks aflame, and surrounded by several scotsmen in regimental kilts...and all of them with 'The Drunken Scotsman' left playing in their heads. Wren had hightailed her champion sword swallowing act to the showers.

Bri contemplated whistling a looney tunes song as she made her own escape, but to where? She couldn't even hide in Fili's room, as she didn't know which was his. Never mind what all thoughts that engendered. With her luck, she'd wind up in Light 'n' Lively's room, and wouldn't that just make the evening complete?

Frerin, dast him to the bottom of the seven seas, was the first to comment. "So, what songs do you know?" Oh not this convesation? She was getting her dander up, always a marvelous way to survive any soul crushing embarrassment.

"She's rather a good singer. I loved that one song, Welsh was it?" Bless Fili. No wonder she loved him...wait, WHAT? We'll simply put this thought on hold for later. Once crisis at a time please.

"You know songs in Welsh?" Thorin asked her from across the table. She had a sneaking suspicion he was doing his part to steer the conversation into safer waters. Right then, looking at eyes so like Fili's, Bri decided Thorin definitely got her vote.

"Only one, but it has both a fast version and slow version, depending on the mood you want. I also know a few french songs." Bri half smiles. "Cain't speak a lick of either, but I can sure memorize a song."

"What Welsh song is it you know, lass, and might we hear it?" This gentle inquiry came from Balin. She couldn't even really be upset at him asking. Since it was him asking, she'd just have to put the usual stage fright on a back burner. Firmly telling herself these were friends, not a proper audience, and for once she could sing for more than two people without being slightly tipsy.

"It's called 'Dac'w Nghariad'. and would you like the up tempo or slow?" Bless Fili twice for not even commenting on the deathgrip she had on him.

"Slow would be fine, I think." Balin and the uncles settled back to enjoy as she took her first deep breath to sing.

She finished her song and opened her eyes to four men staring at her with open mouths. Now, she was officially nervous.

"Bloody Hell! Where'd you learn to sing like that?" Ah yes, Mr. Exuberance would be the first to say something.

"Self taught, mostly?" She now had both hands clutching Fili's for all they're worth. Bless his sweet heart, she was sure they were losing feeling by now, but he didn't say a word.

"Do ye ken 'Legends of the Frost?'" Was he getting at what she was afraind he was getting at?

"Yes, but…." She didn't get to finish, Frerin was off and gabbling at lightspeed.

"Finally, we could add that to the set list!" Was he an overgrown Peter Pan to be crowin' so? Honestly, he could put her best rooster to shame.

"But…" This time, the interruption came from an unexpected ally.

"Frerin, are ye forgetting a wee step?" There was both censure and gentle humor in those icelandic blue eyes. Shave her head and call her a billiard ball, but was that even a smile she saw hiding in the corner of his mouth? She wondered if she ought to snap a pic of it 'n' send it to Wren. Nah, she might die of heart attack….or fanny overload, as she put it.

Frerin, for his part, stopped mid verbosity, mouth still open as grass green eyes and heart breaker smile turned full bore on her. No worries, she preferred bonny blues and winking dimples in a soft as silk blonde beard, thank you.

"I have stage fright like you wouldn't believe, ask Fili." She said it as calmly as her racing heart would allow.

"But ye sang at the Honey Tree Tavern!"

"After three meads!"

"Mead's no problem, lass..." It was easy to tell he was joking, the crinkly eyes and shaking shoulders were easy to read. It didn't help none, she still felt like thumping his head for him.

"Not only no, but HELLS effin No! I won't turn lush just so you could have a song!" It made her feel better to yell at him, so she did. He could go sit on a pinecone if he didn't like it. From the hand covering his mouth, he was just laughing harder at her anyways.

"Lass, not that I enjoy playing devil's advocate, but don't ye think getting over your stage fright without liquid fortification, would be a good thing?"

Dang it Balin. Do you have to be so bloomin' sensible? Bri's thoughts were going ninety to nothing. She knew there would have to come a point. It might as well be with big burly boys that could keep an angry audience off her and a sweet pair of encouraging blue eyes with darlin' dimples for moral support.

"Well, since you're gonna put it that way. Yeah, I'll sing a set with y'all." Frerin's warwhoop would have done General Lee proud.

"Practise, one, tomorrow, aye?" Today really needed to go down in history, because Bri would bet her best boots that was a smile, an honest to goodness smile, on Thorin's mug! He even gave her a little polite nod. Yep, definitely tossing her vote to Dark 'n' Dangerous. Light 'n' Lively was just entirely too much like the cousins she kept expecting on the next Darwin's Awards list.

"Aye, I'll see y'all at one at the Armory?" Another regal nod let her know she'd guessed rightly. "Now, if'n Wren's left any hot water, I'ma go drown myself in the shower now."

Bri made good use of the shower, and Fili's neatly made single bed. She slept above the covers, thank you, but his pillow still smelled like him, giving her some very pleasant dreams. She woke up smiling.

She could even keep her equanimity while helping that traitor Wren get ready. She knew the wings would be a hit. She absolutely took no glee in explaining exactly what Wren had done to herself, dressing up as an oak fairy. To say the results of said talk were entertaining would be a gross injustice of an understatement.

Bri liked this dress. It was a gift from some vendors she'd bartered with at the last Gulf Wars she attended. The purple broadcloth had embroidery on the sleeves to look like bird wings, and the burgundy brocade surcoat made her feel positively regal in it. She had her doubts when the merchant first showed her, but the two actually complemented each other as if made together. She clasped the golden belt in place, and studied the effect in the mirror fastened to the back of Fili's door.

"Breathtaking." The soft words sounded sincere, and she went weak kneed at the soulful blue eyes. The expression was too solemn for dimples, but she wouldn't trade that moment for the world, not when he looked at her like that. Nope. nope. nope.

Though truthfully, looking at the man and his costume literally stole her breath. Fili was a very well built man, and the clinging leggings of gold, knee high brown boots with gold medallion fastenings showed the muscular legs to a tee. The long flowing doublet of particolored yellow and deep red showed the depth of his chest and the breadth of his shoulders. The gold piping around the dagged sleeves sparkled as they swung with his movements. He looked like a proper lord. The stately Lion mask only underlined his majesty. It took her just a moment to recover herself.

"Glad you approve, since I've naught else to wear." Bri felt comfortable teasing him, and there were her winking dimples, back in action.

"Be careful who you say that around." He meant it light and teasing, but it was still a good idea.

"Don't remind me." Yes, Bri could easily imagine. Jokes about druids and skyclad danced in her ears. She could already feel her color rising. Talks of period appropriate practices and garb aside, Renners could be just as raunchy and earthy as anyone. Some took great pride in abusing the privilege.

"You do know this is a masquerade, right?" Fili had a small smile tugging the corner of his mouth, as if chewing on a secret.

"Oh crap on crackers, I plum forgot my mask!" Bri was now frantically digging through her overnight bag, but not finding her mask. Chances were it was still sitting on her dresser at home waiting to be packed.

"I thought, maybe, you'd like to use this?" Fili pulled the purple owl mask from that Faire cart from behind his back.

Bri squealed, and nearly bowled Fili over with her exuberant hug. "You ANGEL, you! Thank you!"

"My lady, shall we?" Fili made a fine courtier's bow to Bri, and she gave him a deep curtsey back, giggling for all she's worth.

"Yes, let's shall!" She placed her hand on his proffered arm, and sailed into the night like a proper owl.


	6. The Owl and the PussyCat

Bri entered the Revel Hall on Fili's arm, feeling like a royalty. She saw that they'd gone all out decorating, recognizing several banners on the walls featuring familiar devices. Some very dear friends had made good this season. She kinda wished Reese had come, she might be willing to listen to her wax nostalgic about the Faire doins'. Wren was so preoccupied, she wouldn't want to hear about this or that person making Duke.

Fili lead her to the well endowed banquet table. Punches and sparkling drinks glittered like jewels amidst the piled high comestibles. She loved the chocolate covered strawberries, but she needed something a little hardier first. She could easily see a coming war of the strawberries with Wren. No such thing as enough.

"Would my Lady care to join me?" There stood Fili, with a plate already bearing several cheese and homemade rolls, along with some toothpick skewered beef bites. He was almost too good to be true.

"Sugarpie, what did I ever do to earn your attention? Thank you!" She carefully accepted the plate, and closed her eyes at the savory cheese. Nothing with 'goat' and 'dill' in its name, especially a cheese, had any business being that delicious. But the flavor on her tongue was not to be denied. When she opened her eyes, she realized she had Fili's undivided attention, his bite still halfway to his mouth. She could feel her cheeks heating up. Thankfully, the musicians were starting up. She recognized the tune. She set her plate down, and grabbed Fili's arm. He barely set his down before she had him halfway across the dance floor.

"Do you even know which dance we're forming up for?"

"Yep, Red House. Music's a dead giveaway. Please tell me you know it?"

Her eager cheer was hard to ignore, and Fili was already chuckling. "Yes, Leuma-chrann, I am quite familiar with Red House." His merry eyes were twinkling in the soft light, and Bri felt her heart squeezing in her chest.

"Leuma-chrann, what's that?" They'd already done the first cast and follow. They'd formed up with Thorin and Wren, and they were currently passing around them. Dang, could all the Durinsons dance like devils?

"Only what you are." He looked like he was chewing on a delectable secret. It was making her mad with curiosity, and he seemed to be enjoying it. The stinker.

The dance finally wound down, and Bri headed straight for Balin. If Fili wouldn't tell her, maybe Balin would. Unlike men, she had absolutely no compunction about asking questions. The next dance was already forming up, but Bachelor had never been one of her favorites.

"Balin, I need to ask you something, if you don't mind?" He was over to the side, not surprisingly surrounded by faire friends on all sides. The man was a social wonder.

"Well lassie, I'll answer if I can. What is it?" Balin turned that concerned attentiveness to her.

"Bri, there you are. Come dance!" Fili had looked for her by their plates, and had missed her making tracks to where Balin was holding court. He must have just about run to catch up.

"What?" Bri was amused. Apparently, someone didn't want her knowing his little secret just yet. He was pulling her out to where the dance was forming. Not surprisingly, Bri found her forming a square with Wren and Frerin. Oh, this was going to be good.

"C'mon, turnabout's fair play, you dragged me, my turn." Fili seemed so pleased with himself. Thing was, the dance would give her the opportunity to ask Frerin. She didn't care who she learned it from, so long's she knew what the deuce Fili was calling her. She'd thump him a good one if it was something embarrassing.

To put it mildly, Frerin surprised her. He was a courtly dancer. Honestly, she'd about decided the man didn't have a serious bone in his body. Call her pleasantly surprised.

"So, enjoyin' yer evenin' with me nephew?" Frerin softly cast her off. Usually, a clown like he presented would have added a little extra push.

"Soon's I find out somethin'." She answered as she passed back by him.

"Aye, what's that." Again the meet in the middle.

"What's leuma-chrann?" Frerin's chuckle surprised her. He was still chuckling as the dance brought them back around.

"Either he was commenting on that lovely fragrance yer wearin', or he's callin you his honeysuckle. You tell me which it is?" The surprised look on Bri's face set him laughing even harder as he cast her off to dance with her next partner in the round. Bri's brain was buzzing the whole rest of the dance. She could dip out of the dance. It's not like anyone would stop her, but then she'd just sit and stew until she could talk to Fili. Better to keep occupied, rather than look like a mountain surrounded by thunderheads like Thorin's doing. One gloomy gus was plenty.

Before she could clear the floor, a laughing Fili had her by the waist. "Oh no, you have to stay for this!"

"What? What is it?" She didn't htink she'd ever seen anybody laugh that hard before. What on earth?

"You'll see, and it'll be sterling!" They were forming up for 'Toss the Duchess' and Bri saw a line of Durinsons forming. Whooo nelly! For once, she might actually catch air in this dance. She wondered if Dwalin would toss her high enough she could slap the cross beams holding the arched ceiling. She saw a very worried Wren between Frerin and Thorin. Odd that Thorin would place himself in line where he'd not get to dance with Wren, but then, Fili seemed to know something. Well, those shenanigans had to come from somewhere…she was suddenly very eager to see what was about to ensue.

She was laughing so hard, she finally had to stumble out of the dance. Tears were forming, and a very familiar pair of hands caught her up while she engaged in the biggest giggling fit of her life. She vaguely heard him laughing right along with her. Thorin and Frerin turned 'Toss the Dutchess' into 'Pass the Wren' to the point Fili just backed gallantly out with a flourishing bow to let his uncles continue to take turns tossing Wren between them. It was glorious, hilarious, and the perfect opportunity to laugh a whole boatload of nerves and worries away from today.

She decided to sit the dancing out until she caught her breath. The only dances she was really interested in were the Maltese and Korobushka, both slated for way later that night. Fili joined her.

"So, leuma-chrann. Was it a comment on my perfume, or somethin' else?"

"What do you think?" As much as she'd admired that mask earlier today, she pure 'n' tee hated it now. All she could see were his eyes, and they really weren't enough to judge his mood right now. Irritated, she took her own owl mask off and set it on the bench beside her, and tried to put into words something sensible approximating the feelings she had.

"I think entirely too much crazy has happened today for me to think straight, and you're entirely too cute n sweet for my own good." She watched him from under protective lashes, trying to gauge his reaction.

He copied her, laying his lion mask down next to her owl. "Does that mean you're willing to give me a chance?" He started to lean towards her, and her jitters compounded twentyfold. Before that dangerously luscious mouth could enter the no fly zone, she protectively put a careful finger on his nose, stopping his forward advance.

"I think it's just a tad soon for that much, but yes, you can certainly have your chance." He smiled and those dimples winked at her, causing her jitters to turn into stomach somersaults worthy of the Olympics. Then the stinker kissed her finger. Warm lips, sultry eyes, soft beard, and winking dimples, it was too much. It felt like her heart popped right then and there.

"Shall we dance, then?" She took his hand as he pulled her out for a dance. It was one of the few that didn't require changing partners, and Fili's warm hands stayed on her person constantly. As Fili whirled her around, she caught glimpses of both Thorin and Frerin regarding Wren like wolves would regard a choice lamb. Of course she had to pass that little nugget along to Wren after the dance.

"Don't look now Wren, but there's a pair of wolves with their tongues lollin' over you." That, apparently, set off World War Wren. Thankfully, all interested parties (namely the two uncles) were dragged outside for the executions. Bri idly wondered if they'd hear the explosions from inside. She wasn't allowed to simply sit and stew over it, though. Fili dragged her back to the dance floor for more country dances and another round of Toss the Dutchess. She did catch some air. Both Fili and Dwalin were seriously strong fellas, but there was no crossbeam slapping.

Bri was thanking her tossing partners for a lovely dance when the Conquering Heroine came sailing in head high and proud. She also made directly for the chocolate covered strawberries. Bri hoped there were more in the kitchen.

Bri was making inroads on her plate when two very chastised uncles finally slunk back into the Revel Hall. She nudged Fili, snickering. "Look who's finally back."

"Good Lord!" Fili looked properly stunned. Apparently, this was a new look for the uncles, one never witnessed by their nephew..

"Yep, think they got a clue?" Bri was honestly interested. Wren was her friend, and she wasn't going to sit back and let the two knuckleheads make her life miserable.

"Dunno, we'll see." Fili watched his uncles, concern in his eyes. Bri finally caught a clue herself. It wasn't just hard on Wren, it was hurting both brothers, too. By extension, it meant it was hurting Fili. She didn't care to think how much that mattered to her.

Bri was comfortably full. She and Fili had talked about everything and nothing, and she was contentedly enjoying being just an observer for a bit when Wren, color high and eyes snapping stomped over to her and Fili.

"Aren't there any girl only dances at this blasted thing?" Bri looked beyond Wren to where the musicians were taking their seats. Another bent over to turn off the cleverly hidden boombox that had been providing music while they enjoyed their break.

"My Lords and Ladies, please take your place for the Maltese." The Dance Master's voice cut clean and clearly across the constant hum of the revel.

"There's your answer, Wren. Care to dance the Maltese with me? You get to shake your booty." The mischief in Bri's grin would have been enough to make the Joker pause. Had she seen the light in Fili's, it might have given her second thoughts.

"I'll dance, but my booty is grounded today. Enough aggro as it is." Wren mumbled, barely loud enough for Bri to hear her. Bri grinned wickedly. This dance was all about allure and teasing. She intended to make the most of it. She saw Fili had taken up the perfect spot to watch her. That's fine, she wanted him to watch. Lord gave her a pair of hips and she intended to make the most of a dance that celebrated them.

The slightly eastern tune, so very familiar, started up. Bri twirled, skirts flying, and posed with her leg and calf on display as she clapped. Fili's eyes flared, she saw it and blew him a kiss. As she twirled the other way, she did it again. Then came the hip shimmy to the center of the circle, and she let her hips cut loose. She shimmied in, clapped, shimmied out, and twirled away, lost in the music. The music sped up, and her twirls and shimmies kept perfect time. The song ended, and she kept the your pose for just a tick longer, liking the way it made her feel powerful and desirable. She knew she had curvy calves, and the dance showed those off to perfection.

Fili, looking as if he were fighting with himself about something, made his way over to very flushed and hyper Bri. "Where" Fili had to clear his voice, and tried again. "Where, have you been hiding that?"

"Hmm? What do you mean? Hey, listen, I'm overheating in here, join me outside? I have

got to get some air after all that exercise."

"Sure, I'll grab us both some drinks."

"Fili, you're an angel." She gave him a hug, then made her way outside to the long bench on the patio.

"Now where did a nice little girl like you learn to dance like that?" A thin man, dressed like the dread pirate Roberts came out after her. She'd not paid him any mind before, but his words broke goosebumps out along her neck. How dare he!

"Maybe she's not a nice little girl. Maybe she'd like to play?" Oh great, there were two of them. She noted the second was just as original as the first, dressed in a white pirate shirt and tight pants that did his beer belly no favors.

"Gentlemen, and I use that term loosely, kindly take your attentions and insulting remarks someplace else. They aren't wanted or appreciated here." Bri stood up, and carefully moved her feet into position. She was fairly sure this wasn't going to be settled with sense. She was going to have to put some of those hard won lessons with the cousins to work. Five older cousins were better than any self defense class, she'd found.

"Aren't we? Why'd you make kissyfaces at me then?" The thin one moved toward her. Bri quickly dropped her shoulder into his solar plexus and sent him sailing over her back. She heard him land hard behind her. It'd take him a moment or two to regain his breath.

She looked for bubba belly, only to find him restrained by Fili. His arm painfully jacked behind his back, and Fili's other meaty paw around his throat. She wished it were light enough to see how many colors his face was turning. "I believe you two owe the lady an apology, and you will then leave. You are no longer welcome on the premises."

Once the two left, Fili wrapped her in arms and squeezed her close. She could hear his heart triple time in his chest. She hugged back just as hard. She wasn't feeling too swooft right now either. Reaction and all the might have beens were setting in. Fear meant to have its say. Could she have kept them both off her? Common sense said unlikely. Thank heavens for Fili.

He finally heaved a sigh, and dropped a light kiss on the top of her head. "Let's go back inside, Leuma-chrann. It should be about time for the korobushka. There were only two other dances listed before it."

"Hehehehe, think you can keep up with me, Scottie boy?" Her equilibrium was fully restored by the promise of a fun dance with a partner she knew she could enjoy. Bri was up for fun and frolics.

"Hmm, maybe you'll be the one having issues keeping up."

"Hmmm, well then, let's go see." Bri was all but dragging him back inside. The stinker had the temerity to be laughing at her. She remembered how fast they played the last rounds of korobushka. She'd get the last laughs.

There were quite a few couples on the floor for korobushka. It was a Russian dance, one of the few that let the couples actually hold each other, and for that, she loved it. The flirty in the middle parts didn't hurt either. It combined clapping, acting, twirling and dancing. Really, what wasn't to love about this dance?

The music started, and Bri fluttered her lashes at Fili as she rested her head on his shoulder. The quirky smile was utterly adorable.

"Tell me, is that part of the dance, or do you mean it?"

"For me to know, and you to find out after the dance." She quipped, and here was the first twirl away. She ended her twirl with her favorite pose, calf extended, clapping at him with a wide smile, twirled back, swung out, and twirled again to give him a saucy wink. Then they were off and stomping around the circle again. She loved everything about it. She loved that he was laughing with her, teasing and flirting with her, and he was a divine dancer. Annoyingly enough, the stinker could keep up with her and the dance. The final flourish played, and she was left staring up into those dazzling blue eyes. Then he was kissing her, or she was kissing him. She wasn't sure who started it, she just didn't want it to stop.

He had warm, plump lips. He tasted of cider and chocolate strawberries, and his tongue was doing things in her mouth she was sure shouldn't be allowed on this planet. Both of her hands had wound up tangled in his hair, and his were trying to squeeze them into one person. She didn't mind, so long as he didn't stop kissing her. Unfortunately, breathing declared itself necessary.

"So, did I keep up?" How could he be that flippant while they were still sharing the same breath? She smiled at him wickedly. Round two was all on her, not that he seemed to mind.


	7. Practice Makes Perfect

Bri woke the next day entirely too pleased with herself. That lovely round of kissing with Fili stayed with her the entire ride home on the back of his motorcycle. Of course, he'd have a motorcycle. He also kissed her goodnight on her front porch. She was tempted, but resisted asking him inside. She'd felt she'd already moved too fast with a man she'd literally just met that day. She really didn't know what to think of herself, or what Fili must think of her. She stretched under her covers, letting all the various maybes and whatifs swirl. She'd find out when they got there, as the saying went. She was still entirely too contented from the mind numbing kisses of one Fili Durinson.

All those lovely feelings were put on halt as she saw it was already eleven in the morning, courtesy of her alarm clock. Bri bolted out of bed and into the shower. Time was now a very precious commodity.

Showered, dressed in her own Robin Hoodette outfit, currently slipping on her folded ankleboots, Bri hobbled into the kitchen to see what she could forage.

Bless Wren, there were scones and hot water! Mixing herself some instant hot chocolate, she scooped up a scone, half of it disappearing in one bite.

"Chew, Bri, don't get distracted." Wren's face vacillating between horror and humor at her friends 'omg i'm late' antics.

"And why shouldn't I be? Can you imagine what might happen if I'm late? Does Dark 'n' Dangerous strike you as the overly forgiving type?" Bri doesn't do late, and tended to worry more than was healthy when it was a possibility. The last of the scone disappeared, never to be seen again, and she was out the door in a flurry of curls and worry.

* * *

><p>She showed up at the tent with five minutes to spare. The practice green now sported what looked like a makeshift stage made from pallets and plywood. "What in tarnation?"<p>

She could see Frerin and Thorin moving and organizing stands and instruments. They even had a large harp out. Bri giggled, remembering who would be playing it. It was still just this side of unbelievable.

"Well, since we won't be doing fight demos for a while, might as well put the area to good use. If sound carries well enough, we may move our show here, at least for a while." Kili came out from the corner of the Armory, carrying his fiddle in one hand and the big drum under the other arm.

"Mkay, then. Do y'all need help setting up? I can carry instruments with the best of 'em."

"Oh, sure. Van's 'round the side there. Thanks" Kili headed towards the makeshift stage, jaunty as ever, even carrying a drum nearly as big as he was. Bri shook her head and headed for the van.

"Hello handsome! Load me up!" Fili turned so quick, he managed to bump his head on the doorframe.

"Dang darlin', careful with that!" She kissed her finger and rubbed the offended forehead, earning a smile from Fili. "That's the onliest noggin you got, y'know."

Bri's heart did a little flip when those dimples winked and he quirked his mustache just so. How did the man do that? "I generally am, despite current evidence otherwise." He glanced at his watch, one of those thick survive anything models, that hid well under the pirate shirt. "Right on time, too. Frerin owes me a week of chores now."

"You guys bet on me?" Bri didn't know whether to be ticked or tickled. On the one hand, she mattered enough they not only discussed her, but Fili bet on her. On the other hand, she'd been reduced to a stinkin' bet. She'd chew on it later.

"Well, only a little one. Frerin was sure you'd be too embarassed by it all, and would mope your way over here." Here she was treated to a patented to die for Fili Durinson smile. "I knew better." He handed her the hurdy gurdy, just waiting for her to start laughing over it. He grabbed the chanter and his fiddle, jumping out of the van. "This is the last of it. Follow me."

Thorin was near 'bout the most hard headed and implacable slave driver Bri had ever crossed. Every song was rehearsed till it was note perfect, and his version of note perfect, thank you. The one bright spot, as far as Bri was concerned, was that Scarborough Faire would finally be sung the right way.

"Can you believe," Bri was waxing eloquent over one of her favorite pet peeves to Fili. Strangely enough, even Kili seemed to be listening. "I went on Youtube, a site you can generally find **anything**, and not one video showed Scarborough Faire being sung correctly! Not one!

"What's the 'correct way'?" Kili asked, feet swinging over the side of the makeshift stage.

"It was originally a song sung between two lovers. Sort of a friendly spat. One sung for humor's sake." Frerin decided to add his two cents, dropping Bri's jaw in the process. "In fact, it can trace its roots back to 'The Elfin Knight'" Frerin cocked that killer half smile at Bri. "An old Scottish ballad from around 1670."

"Yer kiddin' me! Really?" Bri's mouth may never be able to close again, it had dropped so low. She noticed the high humor of both nephews, and figured this wasn't anything new to them. Light n' Lively was proving to be not quite the irredeemable dunderhead he painted himself.

"Aye, tell me this donna sound familiar:

For thou must shape a sark to me / Without any cut or heme, quoth he

and she replies:

I have an aiker of good ley-land / Which lyeth low by yon sea-strand" Frerin had a decent falsetto, she'd have to give him that.

"So, how does this one end?" Bri was interested despite her discombobulation.

"Oh, the wee lassie earns herself an elfin husband, and they lived happily ever after."

"Wow, a Scottish ballad with a happy ending? How'd that slip by?" Bri teased.

"Eh now! That's neither nice nor fair." Apparently, Bri'd managed to wound his national pride if his offended tone was anything to judge by.

"Pffft, we're talking about a culture that has heartwrenching laments of homesickness, from men who had never left home!" And Bri just ko'd both nephews. They were howling with laughter, rolling on their sides while Frerin stared at her. Then, like manna from heaven came a sentence to just make her day.

"Bri one, Frerin nil." The nephews were off howling again at Thorin's rare input.

Scarborough Faire was added to the practice list. Her personal jury was still out on whether it was a blessing or a curse that Fili would be her partner for it. However, since the little theatrical bit they improvised had Kili laughing too hard to play, they thought they might have a crowd pleaser.

Practice eventually wound down, and Bri helped the guys get the gear stowed away. They'd be performing tomorrow in their usual venue. The stage was rented through the week. Whether they rented it the week after would depend on whether or not their practice sessions started pulling crowds this week.

"Y'know, ye did a pretty good job singin' with us. Would ye consider stayin' on with us, then?" Frerin was casually leaned up against the van, arms folded and perusing the cloud formations overhead. Bri was trying hard not to laugh. He was approaching her like one would a skittish colt. She knew, because that's exactly what she did back on the farm with the calves 'n' colts.

"Can't we get through Monday, first? For all you know, you won't want me after I make an utter fool of myself onstage. There's a damn good chance I'll freeze solid." Nerves were making her clumsy. She had that blasted hurdy gurdy. It was unwieldy and heavy, and now her arms were shaking. Someone gently took it, and set it in the van for her. Looking up, there was Dark 'n' Dangerous. Only, he weren't lookin' so dangerous now. He was lookin' downright benevolent. Holy Hannah help her!

"You won't freeze." Then he had the temerity to smile at her. Dang it! No wonder Wren's in such trouble. "We want you to stay."

Just behind him, she saw the twin poor puppy stares of Kili and Fili. She felt she was drowning in Durinsons. God help her.

"Alright! Alright! Jeebus marie!" Of course Kili whooped and then suddenly it was a game of Pass the Bri and hug her. Yep, poor Wren. Dang it, now she owed her an apology.

* * *

><p>Bri's limbs felt like they were made of concrete, barely crawling through the door under her own power. She had to stop a moment to take in the sight before her. You'd think she'd be used to it by now. She carefully made her way to the oversized, comfy couch and fell. "I owe you a heartfelt apology, Wren. I'm sorry."<p>

Wren carefully disassembled herself from her headstand. "Oh?"

"After spending an entire day hip deep in Durinsons? Yeeeeah, I think I owe you an apology. Forgive me?"

"Huh?" Wren scratched her dandelion like head in confusion.

"Imagine, if you will, the combined testosterone powered persuasions of Frerin, Thorin, Kili and bloomin' Fili to keep me with their bloomin' band! So, yeah, I'm sorry I **ever** made fun of you." Bri buried her head in her fuzzy purple pillow, groaning.

"My condolences, Bri," Wren mournfully shook her head, and once again tangled herself into a semblance of the Celtic knot that she actually had tattooed on her backside.

"Does tomorrow **have** to come?" Whined the fuzzy purple pillow on the couch. Wren breathed out in some weird yoga way and looked at Bri. Quite the trick, since her head was upside down, orange ringlets scattered on the carpet.

"Any news at the Fili front?"

"Still darlin' as ever, and entirely too delectable for my own good." Bri still had not come up for air. "He used the puppy eyes on me, Wren."

"Low blow," Wren chuckled and did a handstand.

"This is serious, it may require ice cream therapy. You in?" Bri was already shuffling to the freezer. Dark chocolate and raspberry jam calling to her.

"Nah, I'm good. But you go for it. I'll just hang in here," Wren went for one of her usual silly puns.

"We may need to stock up. You have a couple of serious dates coming up." Bri was already feeling much better, a mouthful of dark chocolate ice cream and raspberry jam courtesy of Ben and Jerry suddenly making her world a much better place.

"I'd be more worried about you, my lovely. I have two psychos who tried to end each other in and have no understanding of personal space. At least these two have flaws. You are stuck with Mr. Perfect making puppy eyes at you and most certainly mentally undressing you in a romantic, considerate way."

"I dunno, there may be more to 'em than we thunk. I think they're just that crazy over you."

"Is it chocolate ice cream making you all soppy and mushy?"

"That and feeling swooshy over Fili. Dang, the boy has me in knots."

"Like this?" wren asked laughing and tangled her legs in a way not possible for a proper human with bones.

"Just like that, no, maybe worse!"

"Yep, you are toast, my heartie!"

"As in, drink up, me heartie, yo ho?" The girls dissolved into silliness for the rest of the evening.


	8. The Enchanted Pig

She'd come early, because well, that's what she does when nervous. However, she wasn't expecting Mountain Thunder Armory to be under attack. There were munchkins everywhere! Apparently, someone forgot to tell her there'd be a field trip of ten year olds from the local school coming through today. The Durinsons were having a field day with it, and she meant that literally.

They'd set up several demos outside; she'd even spied a bloomin' caber out there! What drew her attention was Fili, shirt off, tossing bales of hay over a high jump bar. Like a sleepwalker, she made her way to the fence, and let it support her while she took in the mesmerizing play of sunlight on sweat slicked skin and hair.

The kicker came when Mr. Fili Durinson brought out the foam weapons. That smile, and the way he was interacting with the kiddles, yep time to go! In pure interest of self preservation, Bri dragged Wren off to their favorite cafe. Which happened to be right by the stage she'd be performing at in less than an hour.

Only, she couldn't eat lunch, for fear of it making an unscheduled reappearance during performance. She was stuck sipping jasmine tea while Wren got to go whole hog with the scones. Did she mention the place had the best melt in your mouth scones this side of heaven? She sighed.

And it's go time! Wren's pep talk during 'lunch' was warring with a first class case of stage fright. Fili took both of her white knuckled fists in his excessively warm hands, trying to soothe her nerves. The half hearted smile she gave him set off a devious twinkle in his eyes.

"Maybe this will help, then." He kissed her long and deep, earning a "Blimey mate!" from his brother. She still hadn't recovered when he escorted her around the backdrop onto the stage proper. Luckily, the intro to _Legends of the Frost_ gave her time to slip into the world of music from the world of snog seamlessly. It was for this song Thorin brought out his beloved harp. Man, the man could play it, too. She was sure Wren near passed out when he tucked it up in his lap. Maybe she thought he was bout to show more than he meant to do. She was smiling widely when she started her part of the song. When they got to the dragon lyrics, Bri felt familiar goosebumps. Their voices flowed down her nerves like velvet and honey, and rattled her teeth with their power.

She tried not to let the stage fright rise while Thorin introduced the band. They'd certainly woke the crowd up with _Legends_.

So what did Mr. Thorin blinking-sneaky-britches Durinson do?

He introduced the next song, and it's none other than _Dac'w Nghariad!_ Apparently, somebody had rehearsed behind her back for this little surprise, 'cause they sure hadn't discussed a solo with her! Thorin, blast his hide, was utterly immune to visual daggers and even went so far as to tweak a little half smile at her during the song.

From there, they tucked into the instrumental _Tangle Brawl_, and Bri got to help Kili tie the audience in knots. It was probably also a bid to tire her out so her itchy fingers didn't find certain throats.

_Sovngarde Song _followed next, and again the mens' voices sent chills and thrills down spines everywhere. What she was anticipating, both good and bad, was what came next: _Scarborough Faire_. Fili and she took up their personas as classic and iconic as any stock characters from Hollywood's goldenage. From his first pompous request to her last indignant sally, they had the crowd in stitches. She enjoyed it, every bit. His attentive eyes, the way their voices blended, the easy way they shifted and posed to naturally play off each other made the skit perfect. It felt perfect.

The next song was another heavy, _March of Cambreadth_. Kili had pointed out during rehearsal that it was actually meant for a female lead vocal. Bri had staunchly defended their version, arguing it carried hella more punch with insanely buff guys singing it than some chick. After the boys recovered from laughing, they agreed with her assessment. So once again, Bri played drum while the menfolk sang. She wondered if the goosebumps had become permanent.

They ended the show with _Nord Mead_. This time Fili was able to sing and play too, since Bri was there to toss the mead bottles to the crowd. She had fun launching them, especially when she could tease Wren with a near miss that wasn't. Bri almost always hit right where she was aimin'.

Bri was giddy. The show was done, there were no mishaps, and she was actually enjoying clearing the stage for the next act. She kept hearing about The Four Huntsmen, but didn't really know anything about them. They were supposedly giving Mountain Thunder a run for their money. She was asking Frerin what he knew, and was still laughing at his antics and gallantry when she turned around right into the snog from hell from her ex. She barely had time to squeak.

On the plus side, he had a clean mouth and certainly knew how to kiss. He was very enthusiastic, dipping her like some hero in a black and white movie. Thank heavens Wren insisted she yoga with her occasionally. She might have a broken back otherwise.

The down side was that it _wasn't _Fili kissing her, but a man she promised dire retribution on if she ever laid eyes on him again. Looked like she'd get to show him she meant business. Her chance came as he finally returned her to her feet, looking bright eyed and happy to see her. This gave her all the time in the world to knee him in the groin. Hard.

"Didn't I tell you I never wanted to see you again? What part of 'eat roadkill and die' did you take to mean 'kiss me like crazy?' What in tarnation is wrong with you, Sean!" Bri didn't wait to see if the man moaning on the stage even had a good answer for himself. She was still seeing red, and the best thing she could do is get home, find the practice room, and beat unholy hell out of the punching bag before she did the same to someone. Like Sean. Why'd he have to go and kiss her?

She didn't even make it off the stage before she felt Wren's cool hands grabbing her about the shoulders, pulling her into a protective hug. Her hands were making monkeyshines behind her back and she could hear Wren yelling. "No, I got her, you take care of him!"

Oh good, Wren. Once she pounded a mudhole into the punching bag, they could have chocolate. Wren made awesome hot chocolate. "I want chocolate, Wren, 'n' the punchin' bag. Take'm home?"

Frerin and Thorin had their hands full from the second the burly lute player laid hands on Bri. It was almost as impossible as trying to hold back an avalanche. "Let me go! That boggin sheepshaggin' scrote. Awa'n bile his head!" Whatever else Fili might have said was muffled as both uncles and his brother moved him off back stage. One last "Bassa!" was heard as they finally wrestled him away.

Thorin roughly grabbed Fili by the shoulders, "Stop. Think! This isn't what I taught you!"

"And who taught you to beat hell out of your brother over a redhead?" Fili knew he'd gone too far the moment the words left his mouth, but anger kept his spine ramrod straight. He'd said it, he'd face the consequences for it.

"It's different. You have something special here. Don't muck it." The answer wasn't immediate, Fili saw the hurt and anger pass across his uncle's usually stoic face first. That incredible will power was the only reason Fili wasn't nursing a black eye or worse right now.

Fili ran both hands through his hair in utter frustration. "No, you're right. I'm sorry, Uncle."

"C'mon, you need the practice ring."

"Thanks uncle."

"Ye daft? Yer fighting Dwalin." There was the punishment.

Bri was feeling much better. She was going to need a new punching bag, but she felt much more like her old self. She didn't need any old boyfriend aggro intruding on her newly budding relationship. She was happy, dammit! So she took her nice trusty Louisville slugger and beat the literal stuffing out of her punching bag, imagining Sean stupid monkeyfaced O'Borough as she yelled insults to make a sailor blush. It was marvelous therapy.

"Wrennie! Would the hot chockit be ready now?" Bri walked gingerly from the practice room to the kitchen still dragging her baseball bat, looking for her best bud, when she heard the doorbell go off.

She wondered if it were Fili. She'd gotten his text, worrying about her and promising to be there the second she called. She wouldn't put it past him to come check for himself. She slowly changed trajectory, instead aiming now for the door.

She checked the spyhole, and reiterated every single curse word twice over she'd used on the punching bag. Sean can't take a hint O'bloomin'Borough was at her door, with a bouquet no less. Well, she'd just have to beat a clue into him. She had the bat and everything.

"What do you want, Sean?" She opened the door quickly and swung her bat back into position.

"Woah! I just wanted to apologize!" Sean, apparently, had caught a small clue, because he jumped back about six feet, hands up in supplication.

"What possessed you to do such a damfool thing in the first bloomin' place?" Bri hadn't relaxed her stance. She hadn't swung yet, neither. Sean took this as a positive sign. Nobody said he ever lacked guts. Sense? Regularly, but not guts.

"I suppose you wouldn't believe I was just that happy to see you?" He looked down at his hands, the apologetic half smile still in place, and he chuckled. "and these were meant to be apology flowers. Is it safe for me to hand them to you?"

Neither Bri nor Sean saw Wren come around the corner of the house with the garden hose. Sean, however, was made intimately aware as the cold water blasted him.

"Jaysus' Eirigh as!" Bri was impressed. Most men couldn't reach that high without being snipped. Wren kept the hose on him until he was back in his car. There was a good chance she'd ruined his expensive leather jacket and pants for him.

"Thanks Wren."

"My pleasure," Wren bowed theatrically, "Came crawling and apologising for the snog but still trying to snooker you into renewed association, did he?"

"He got as far as apologizing and offering flowers. The bat may have put him off a bit." Bri laid her bat acrossed her shoulders, resting her hands at each end, and grinned. "We need a new punching bag, too."

"Well, I wouldn't have treated him as a bed of azaleas if you weren't in your combat stance, Bri. You didn't look like you were enjoying his visit. And yes to the punching bag. After today's harp playing and children handling I might need some alone time with it myself."

"I thought you'd get a rise out of Thorin n' his harp. It still makes me giggle even now. Who'd a thunk it?"

"It was funny until he spread his knees. Then it became alarming. I might need some of the hosing myself."

"I'll leave Thorin, knees n all to you. Oh lord, and I bet Fili's fit to be tied, too. I need chockit."

"I'll leave you alone with your friend derived from beans then. I have a class in thirty minutes, and I am so pissed off at your ex that I need extra time to calm down before teaching others to be chill and mindful." Wren disappeared in her room, and soon rushed by Bri with a sports bag and a busy expression on her face.

Bri was on her second pint of Ben and Jerry's when the doorbell rang again. The spyhole revealed a very sad and rather beat looking Fili on the other side. Ten million different things ran through her head looking at him, but only one fit her mood, really. She needed comfort, and from the looks of it, so did Fili. She opened the door and wrapped her arms around him. "Hmmmm, better'n chockit."


	9. The Princess Bride

"So, what train ran over you, shug?" Bri was dabbing at yet another black and blue horror across both of Fili's shoulderblades.

"Dwalin, quarterstaves." His adorable mustached twitched in a self mocking smile. "I was in rather a state and said some things I shouldn't have. It was decided for me I needed to work my frustrations out in the ring." He winced as she carefully applied the liniment.

"Looks more like Dwalin worked his frustrations out on you, poor darlin'." Bri placed a gentle kiss on the bruise she was about to cover in a liniment Wren's grandmother swore by. The sweet half smile and hooded look from Fili was totally worth it.

"Well, that was the last one, care to join me for _Princess Bride_ and ice cream?" She'd never admit in a million years how hard it was to keep her voice level.

"I thought you'd never ask." Fili levered himself up from his position on the floor, and then extended his hand to Bri. He easily pulled her up from her seat on the side of the tub. She quickly found herself nose to bare chest with tree trunks wrapped comfortably around her.

"Fili…" The soft request didn't get any further. He dropped a soft kiss on the top of her head, and let his arms fall to his side.

"I'll start the movie, you get the snacks?" She was suspicious of the utterly innocuous tone and eyed Fili warily.

"Deal." Bri was already halfway to the kitchen, heart beating like a triphammer. Neutral territory sounded like a good thing right now. What is it with these Durinsons?

Which inevitably brought her thoughts around to her missing 'sister'. She was terribly curious why Reese, who'd seemed interested in Kili, had so quickly changed her tune. Kili certainly seemed none the worse for wear. Look in the dictionary next to clueless, and there the youngest Durinson would be.

"So, what's the story with Kili? Two days ago, it seemed like he and Reese were interested in each other." A very masculine snort answered her from the direction of her dvd collection.

"Some girl named Nerys caught his eye. Hasn't shut up about how awesome she is yet."

"Is that unusual for him?" Bri swung the freezer door shut with her hip, hands full of two tubs of raspberry jam and chocolate ice cream. It shut with a very satisfying 'thump.' Sometimes, she was downright glad she had wide load hips.

"Ask me Friday. By then it'd be unusual. He falls in and out of love as often as I change me socks." Fili had found their movie, laughing at some of the other choices. What's wrong with _Muppet Treasure Island? _She'd just about give her eye teeth to hear Mountain Thunder sing _Shiver my Timbers. _Great, now she had goosebumps just thinking about it.

"That better mean daily, boyo. Else we'll have words." She eyed him evilly as she grabbed a pair of spoons from the drainer. She made her way to the couch, and handed him his snack. He almost immediately set it down on the end table. The cheshire grin he sported worried her a bit.

"Almost as often as I change socks, then." Fili pulled Bri down on top of him, eliciting a short squeak of surprise. She quickly settled against him, surprised at how comfortable they were this way. Fili buried his face in her hair, breathing deeply. She was not expecting the next question. Perhaps someone else was trying to distract himself, too.

"What about your friend, Reese? I've not seen her since Saturday. Does she not like the Faire?"

"Ain't no tellin'. Last I heard, she met up with some fellas she thought were nice, sent me a camera pic or two to show me they weren't axe murders, and told me she was fine." Bri rolled her eyes as she dug into her ice cream. What could be better? She was propped on a Fili mattress, nomming on dark chocolate and raspberry jam ice cream, and about to watch _Princess Bride_. Bri figured this was as close to Heaven as she'd ever get on earth, and she was enjoying every second of it. "I haven't heard from her since. She does this sometimes, reassuring herself she's still free as always, or hiding while she licks her wounds. Hard to tell at times which it is. Told her if she gives me grey hair with her stunts, she's buying my hair colorin'."

Her nice comfy mattress bounced as his laughter rolled. His laughter was deep and luscious, shivering across her skin. Bri quickly took another bite of ice cream. Tonight could get dangerous.

"Ahem, good sir, care to do the honors?" Bri, from her Fili mattress, gave a grandiose wave of her spoon towards the tv and dvd player.

"Why certainly, Leuma-Chrann." Fili set the movie going, then maneuvered Bri and his ice cream so he could enjoy both. Bri wasn't quite sure how he managed it. She settled into enjoy the witty movie, the comfy presence of one Fili Durinson, and the scrumptious dessert in her hands.

An hour and a half later, and Bri was studiously avoiding certain mischievous eyes...someone mentioned wanting to top the 'most passionate, most pure' kiss. She wasn't sure she minded trying at this point.

'Y'know, we need to talk." Bri bounced up and started pacing. She was worried she was about to mess up something wonderful, and she hated that dread feeling with a purple passion.

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Fili's attempt at lightening the situation fell as flat as Vicini did at the end of the life or death challenge.

"Darlin', you're sportin' enough bruises to put most men in the hospital, and you don't think we need to talk about why they're there?" Fili had the good grace to look abashed at Bri's skewering gaze.

"Alright, so we'll talk about 'it.' Precisely who is he to you, and how worried about him should I be?" Bri narrowed her eyes at Fili. He was being entirely too reasonable. He hadn't even shifted from his sprawl on her couch. The happy tail chasing thought in the back of her mind was just how right he looked laying there.

"He's an ex boyfriend. I called it off two years ago. I couldn't stand his whole high and mighty routine. There was also a drinking issue." Bri sat down heavily in a chair facing him. "I might also have threatened his life if I ever laid eyes on him again. I have no idea why he thought a kiss was a good idea."

"I can't say I'll act any better if he lays hands on you again." Fili sat up and grabbed both her hands in his, trying to make her understand with sheer force of will, it seemed. "You matter to me, and seeing that, I wanted to kill him where he stood."

"I'm not interested in him. I slammed, barred, nailed, and cemented that door two years ago." Bri rubbed the backs of his hands in comforting circles with her thumbs. "The only trouble you'll have is beating me to it."

Fili gave her his sunniest smile. "Why does that reassure me more than anything else you could have said?"

"Didn't you see me drop him on the stage?" Bri looked hurt. To think her finest moment, wasn't even witnessed by the one that mattered most. Not thinking about that thought, Bri.

"No, I was rather busy being manhandled to the backstage by both uncles and my brother at the time. I missed it. What did you do?"

"I kneed him as hard as I could in the groin. Then the turkey showed up on my doorstep with flowers. I met him with my baseball bat." Bri figured it was better to go ahead and get it all out. She did NOT want anything to come back and bite her on the butt later. Romance novels were clear on this point. If there was the remotest chance in hell of something coming back to wreak havoc later, it would.

"He did what?" There it was. That was the sound she heard from the stage. It still made her shiver, with what, she wasn't sure. Best not to delve into what she was feeling too deeply. She wasn't exactly sure what she'd find, or how she felt about it all.

"Wren ran him off with the garden hose. She near 'bout drowned him."

"She did?" Fili's grasp on her hands was even relaxing a bit. "Knew I liked her for a reason."

"She likes you, too."

"But not as much as my uncles." Oooh, somebody had a bit of a streak, there. She hadn't thought him capable of that level of impishness.

"Oh lord, don't even!" She couldn't help it, she giggled.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't touch that particular conundrum for all the world." Fili's eyes narrowed with purpose. "What I did want to do, is ask you out for a proper date."

"Oooh, a proper date, huh? Now what would that be like, me bronze beautiful beau?" She laughed as he growled and pulled her back on the couch with him.

"Well, how does a canoe trip and a picnic dinner sound to you?" His voice was somewhat muffled by her hair. She could feel it puffing out with his words.

"You're going to take me canoeing? Hmmm, there's hope for you yet." She laid her head back on his shoulder so she could meet his merry blue eyes.

"I"m hoping to convince you to go steady." Warning! Warning! All sorts of alarm bells were going off. Strangely enough, they were muted and fast disappearing the longer she met his steady gaze. He was as serious as a heart attack.

A mischievous grin broke across Bri's features. "Think it'll woik?"

"It'll take a miracle." And all further talk was stopped by Fili's earnest attempt to outsnog one Dread Pirate Roberts. The happy tail chasing thought in the back of her mind was he did, beautifully and thoroughly.


	10. King of the Golden River

**A/N: Heartfelt apologies on how late this is. Who'd have ever thought fluff could put up such a fight?However, the second half of this little adventure is almost done as well, so yay the next update will happen faster? Reviews, as always, help matters along (like reassuring the author there IS an audience...)**

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><p>"Careful, watch your step there." Fili quickly caught the off balance Bri as she started to tumble out of the canoe.<p>

"Dang, thanks Darlin'. I forgot just how wobbly them things are." Bri glared murder at the canoe, but it continued to bob innocently next to the dock.

"Come along, I've got our picnic safely stowed, and I'll help you in without a good soaking." Fili, good as his word, settled Bri safely and dryly onto her seat and then deftly seated himself across from her.

"So, where're we headed?" Bri picked up the paddle next to her and timed her strokes with Fili's, propelling them effortlessly across the smooth brown water.

"The locals tell me there's an island downstream from here. We'll stop to eat there." Fili looked over to the far bank. "Bri, look there." His voice was soft and full of wonder. She looked to see what it could possibly be and saw a majestic Louisiana heron for her troubles. Its long blue neck was curved in a stately, almost artistic arc as it warily regarded the canoe sliding past it only a few feet away.

"Wonder what else we'll see today?" Bri brushed a willow branch out of her face. The current had carried them close to the bank, and the smell of wildflowers, cool water, and damp earth filled her lungs. It was a familiar and welcome fragrance, full of good memories. She smiled.

"Dare I hope I might have inspired such a lovely smile?" Bri looked up into a sweet soft smile as warm and comforting as spring sunlight. Her own smile widened in response.

"Li'l bit. You brought me out here, and I have a lot of precious memories tied up with places like this. So, thank you." The canoe started to coast too close to a submerged branch, so she used her paddle to push them out from it, giving her time to recover from Fili exposure. Man should come with a warning label. "Warning: exposure to smile can cause heart palpitations."

It was a balmy day, just right for tee shirts and shorts. Bri, under cover of her lashes, admired the muscle play under Fili's 'son of a sailor' fitted tee. He was wearing a pair of red and black swim shorts with it. The set somehow looking like it belonged together and did a lovely job showing off lightly furred and well muscled legs. Bri felt her temperature rising, and it was no fault of the weather.

Still, she needed cooling off. She dipped her hand into the creek, and dabbled the refreshing water over blushing cheeks and forehead. She was so caught up in her own musings, she missed the effect on her canoeing partner.

She was trying to kill him, he was sure of it. For what other reason would she wet the front of that thin purple tee shirt? That her shirt proudly declared her a 'wild thang' in riotous rainbow hues in bold splatter shaped letters did not help. Nor should the effect of cutoff blue jeans that displayed such generous hips and shapely legs be discussed. Especially when her adorable little square feet were so comfortably entangled with his more sensible watershoes. Fili was properly doomed.

"Oh Fili! Lookit there!" That was the problem, he was looking, though probably not where she was expecting. He dutifully turned his head to where she was pointing in time to see a snowy egret gracefully take to the skies.

"Grandaddy always said weren't nothin' prettier than an egret against a cloudy sky. Watchin' that, I can understand his thinkin'." Bri watched as the bird became nothing but a distant dot against the clouds, a thoughtful look on her face. Fili drank in the sight, enjoying the moment himself.

The quickly approaching island drew his gaze back to business at hand. The beach was gentle as promised, and he was able to draw the canoe up easily. Bri busied herself gathering the picnic supplies. Of course, part of this was her satisfying her curiosity as to what all Fili had packed. Stinker had let her poor curiosity simply frazzle itself over what was in there all the way from the apartments. He could let her have this one this once.

Fili, being a good sport, managed to hide most of his amusement, though his shoulders did shake a time or three while pulling the canoe on up the beach a bit. Bri pretended to ignore him and spread the old quilt out for them.

The pair of hickories she found provided plenty of shade, and she scooped up enough nuts to provide flavorful cookouts for weeks to come. Not to mention some to crack and share later. In fact, she had a recipe for a chocolate hickory cake she'd been raring to try. Fili might just get to play guinea pig tonight.

"What are you doing?" Fili looked at her, with her shirt folded over and overflowing with hickory nuts.

"Gathering hickory nuts. Put them in a grill, and they flavor whatever you're cooking wonderfully, and the nuts themselves are kinda like walnuts, only more flavorful. I'ma put them in a chocolate cake i'ma bake tonight. Would you care to join me in this culinary adventure?"

"I might be persuaded." Half lidded eyes and a sneaky smile cut towards Bri, those dastardly dimples working their wiles.

"If I throw in dinner and a movie?"

"Done." He grabbed her elbow and towed her back to the quilt and basket, the food laid out pretty as you please.

And someone went to considerable trouble on the spread, too. It was a little shocking to see just exactly how many of her food favorites were there: deviled eggs, fried chicken, tossed baby spinach salad with cranberries, he even included croissants and scottish eggs. If her eyes didn't deceive her, there was even a bottle of Beorn's best mead cooling in the little stream.

"Alright Fili, just presactly what are you up to?" Bri regarded her date with an assessing eye. She had a hard time suppressing the rising giggle his foot shifting and guilty hemming and hawing invoked. He was cute when he was caught out. Just what did she catch him out on, though?

"Who says I'm up to anything?" His defense lacked considerable conviction.

"Fili, you have deviled eggs with nary an onion in sight, and all my favorites spread out on that blanket. That means you have pestered more than a few folks to find out my favorites and present them all here. What. are. you. up. to?"

"Maybe I'm simply trying to make a good impression?" Fili sat her down on the quilt and held a deviled egg to her mouth. She took the proffered treat, but didn't take her eyes off him while she chewed and swallowed.

"Fili, you're starting to worry me. Do you have some big confession, like you're hoping I'll agree to play beard for you or somethin'?" For her usually go lightly companion to suddenly play coy was alarming. She hoped she could at least shock him out of it. The surprised laughter that followed cheered her mightily.

"No, nothing like that." The warmth and cheer that returned to those bright blue eyes did funny things to Bri's breathing.

"Just following through on a mandate from uncle: 'don't muck it up.'" Once their shared laughter abated and their easy camaraderie was restored, the picnic goodies disappeared with satisfying speed.

On Bri's suggestion, they explored the little island, following the little stream to its source. Along the way, they spied a raccoon teaching its three kits how to fish for crawdads. Once the little family ambled away, they continued up the pebbly stream, stopping occasionally for Bri to pick up a colorful river rock or to admire sunlight glittering off the pyrite in the streambed. It seemed nature was putting on quite a show for the two, and they were making the most of it.

The rest of the canoe trip passed uneventfully. The sun on the water had all but hypnotized Bri into a trance, causing Fili to chuckle when she stared dazedly at his hand to help her out of the canoe at the dock. "Earth to Bri, come in Bri."

"Roger Earth, Bri here."

"Time to disembark, and don't call me Roger." Once both of her feet hit dry land, she swatted the still chuckling Fili on the arm.

"Shush you, or there'll be no cake for you."

"My abject apologies, fair maiden." Still channeling pure mischief, a thoroughly unrepentant turkey dropped dramatically on his knees before her, hands folded together before him to plead his case.

The laughing eyes, flashing dimples, and still rollicking chuckles utterly ruined the effect. He totally missed the light of battle entering Bri's eyes. "So that's how it is, is it?" Bri carefully set the basket down, and then dove onto Fili, tickling his ribs for all they were worth. He howled as he tried to roll out from under her. Poor boy didn't stand a chance.

Bri was an old hand at tickle warfare. She clung like kudzu, and darting fingers easily found their target areas despite his best efforts to ward her off. In no time she had him begging for mercy. She considered just a moment too long, because the next thing she knew, he was kissing her senseless. His lips were warm and soft, the beard and mustache tickling her, and she could still taste sweet tea and strawberry cheesecake on him as his tongue seemed intent on mapping every inch of her mouth. She couldn't mind too much, since her own tongue was deeply exploring his mouth. Once again, that pesky need to breathe broke up a most satisfying snogfest.

"So, what time should I be over?" Did she mention how much she loved it when his voice was all rough and breathy from lack of oxygen while kissing her senseless? The most delightful chills would run the entire length of her spine.

"Oh, let me get Angsty Anne out the door first, m'kay?"

"Deal."

"Put me down now?"

"If I must."


End file.
